You’ve experienced a painful breakup. Now, you finally have the feeling you are getting over your toxic ex and that you are finally moving on with your life. You finally see that you are starting to get back on track and you can’t be happier.
But it’s like this guy felt it. Lately, he’s been sending you all the signals that he wants you back and that he misses you.
And you simply don’t know what to do about it. Your reason tells you not to give him another chance because you know how toxic he is for you, but the fact is that you are still not completely indifferent towards this guy.
So, you struggle with yourself. And therefore, here are 4 ways to help you win that battle in your favor.
1. Think of everything he’s done to you
The first advice you need to follow while you are trying to forget about someone and while you are trying to move on with your life is not to allow the pain to consume and overwhelm you. However, when you are in a situation in which your toxic ex misses you and wants you back, you need to do something completely the opposite.
It means you need to remember all the bad things he has done to you because that will help you see him for who he really is.
You need to remember every tear you cried for him, every sleepless night, every time he made you hate and question yourself and your worth. You need to remember every time he tried really hard to feed your insecurities and to destroy your confidence, and every time his toxicity came close to destroying you. You need to remember how painful it was when he broke your heart and how he put a lot of effort into breaking you completely.
I know these are the things you wish to forget, but this is the only way for you to realize he is not the man you want and need by your side, and to understand that you’ll go through all of these things again if you give him a second chance.
2. Don’t allow yourself to think of beautiful memories only
No matter how toxic and harmful your relationship was, it is natural that it had its good sides, as well. Despite his toxicity and narcissism, this man obviously had something in himself which made you fall for him.
And it is in human nature to remember these good things and these beautiful memories after some time has passed and after the initial bitterness and anger has left us.
And you are not the exception. When this guy tried to contact you, you remembered the way you loved him and in a second, you were ready to do it all over again.
But this is exactly what he wants. When your ex misses you, he will do everything in his power to make you think of all the amazing things the two of you had. And this is exactly what you mustn’t allow to happen. Because let’s face it—there were some good things, but they were definitely not worth all the pain and misery you went through and this is the thing you need to have in mind.
3. Cut him out completely
When you and your toxic ex broke things off, you thought you could stay friends. After all, this person was a huge part of your life and there is no need to cut him off completely.
But this is exactly what he used against you. He found a way to crawl back in your life because you naively left him enough space to do so. So if you really want to stop him from pursuing you any further, it’s time to cut him out completely—as much as it might be painful for you. It’s OK to block his number, to delete him from all social media or to stop hanging out with his friends and family.
This might not send him a message, but even if it doesn’t, it will make things easier for you and it will give him less opportunity to manipulate you into taking him back.
4. Think about how far you’ve gotten
Leaving your ex was one of the hardest things you had to do in your life because you loved him very much despite all of his toxicity. Even if he was the one who left you, not contacting him and not begging him to come back was difficult enough. But you’ve made it, haven’t you?
You’ve made huge progress in comparison to the person you were when you two first broke up and in comparison to the emotions you felt when everything happened.
Therefore, this is what you need to think about every time you struggle not to go back to your toxic ex and when you even consider taking this guy back. Think about all the progress you’ve made, think about all the strength you’ve gained and how you’ve managed to be without him all this time.
You’ve come this far. The last thing you want to do is to ruin it and to go back to step one again.